Joys of B-Ranks
by flubi
Summary: Sakura and Shikamaru were supposed to have a normal run of the mill b-rank, but well, the luck of team seven prevails.


_cursing and horrible fight scenes ahead_

/

"You're mission is to investigate the disturbances in the land of rivers, and provide aid to the injured parties. Normally I'd be sending a three man cell out to investigate, but this is a b-rank mission. Something two jounin should be able to handle on their own. Dismissed."

/

"Shikamaru, pick up the slack!" Sakura shouted back at her lagging teammate, "the sooner we get there, the sooner you can pass out in a real bed!"

Shikamaru sped up minutely, well aware of the glare Sakura was sending him. Sakura scowled at Shikamaru but huffed and focused on the branches in front of her. After fifteen minutes of silent jumping Sakura glanced back.

"What do you think the disturbance is, Shikamaru?" Sakura asked with an expression of mild curiosity. Probably a bear. Maybe a missing-nin. God she hoped it was something interesting, after being sent out to run multiple b-ranks one after the other she was tired of bandits and genin. Shikamaru made a vague sound that could mean anything, and drew her attention in time to see him shrug.

"I dunno… prolly some animal…" Shikamaru ruffled his hair and glanced around with a calculative stare. He was rather content running b-ranks, after all if he did these, he wouldn't have to do something more troublesome.

"Is it bad that I'm hoping it something interesting like a missing-nin? Because it it isn't I might become a missing-nin. At least something would happen then." Sakura halfheartedly joked. Only half.

Up ahead the trees thinned out to curl around a quiet, but rapidly moving river. Sakura leapt off the tree branch to the ground, Shikamaru right behind her. She pulled out the map and double-checked their route, then stuffed the map back into her holster.

"Refill your water bottle then we'll get moving again." Sakura tested the banks, and bent down to replenish her water bottle. She dropped a few water purifying tablets in and straightened back up to see Shikamaru napping against the tree.

'…Remember Sakura, you can't kill your teammate. You'll get court marshaled. You don't want that Sakura.' Sakura huffed and just ignored Shikamaru. He knew how far he could push her buttons before she snapped. She surveyed the area, noting all the points of possible ambush, the places that someone could hide in. Then Sakura closed her eyes and sniffed the air for recent scents.

She may be Tsunade-shishou's student now, but she was Kakashi-sensei's, a world renowned tracker, first. She didn't spend three years in Konoha as just Tsunade-shishou's student, when Tsunade-shishou was busy and Kakashi-sensei was free, she went to him for lessons. Sometimes he blew her off, but other time he taught her how to track someone. She would never be on an Inuzuka's level, but she considered herself to be pretty decent.

Sakura tilted her head when she caught the scent of tuna and blood. The second scent was, smoke and sickness. Familiar, but not at all. Like a relative of someone she knew. There were plenty of other scents here, but these were the newest and least imprinted in the environment.

"Shikamaru, there seems to be two new scents. Likely passed through here two to three days ago." Sakura called back to Shikamaru, and received a grunt in return.

"We, might have our disturbances, Sakura," Shikamaru groaned then pushed himself up slowly, Sakura couldn't help imagining him as an old man with arthritis, just asked by his gran kids to go play.

"Normally I'd agree, Shikamaru, but the timelines don't add up. The two of them came through here two to three days ago, but the disturbances are at least a week old." Sakura once again turned her nose to the wind to double check.

Sakura opened her eyes and watched Shikamaru refill his water bottle.

/

The two of them arrived to a silent village with their chakra suppressed and their ears open. Not devoid of people, but silent in the way that you were afraid that if you made a sound you'd be hurt.

The two watched the villagers go about their day from the branches above and could only ascertain that the disturbance had some sort of hold over this village.

Sakura cringed when she saw a little boy drop a bucket of water and look around fearfully, like he expected to be struck. Everyone froze around the boy. She watched for any sign that he would be struck, but it never came. Soon enough, what Sakura assumed to be the boys mother ran up to him to drag him away, whispering warnings and hushed assurances.

Sakura turned to Shikamaru and saw him deep in thought. He turned to her and started signing.

'Probable. Missing-nin. Investigate.'

'Understood. Search. West.'

'Search. East. Rendezvous. Water.'

They both nodded to each other and silently leapt apart.

/

"Definitely missing-nin in the area. Discovered tracks leading to a cave, the entrance had traps covering it all throughout the entrance, and probably the inside. I didn't want to approach without back up." Sakura crossed her arms and leaned against the tree behind her. She watched Shikamaru's expression shift from puzzlement to understanding.

"You found the two unknowns, and I found the disturbance then. The missing-nin is operating alone. There were no signs that they were in communication with the other missing-nin in the area." Shikamaru ran his hands through his hair and stared into the distance in contemplation. Sakura sighed and slid down the tree to doze while Shikamaru considered all the possibilities, variables, and outcomes.

Sakura snapped awake when Shikamaru poked her with a stick.

"I've got two plans. A, we go into the village in disguise and offer aid discreetly. But likely to fall short due to wary nature of the village. Or B, we act like shinobi just passing through, on our way to deliver a scroll for the daimyo. We happen to stop here and you notice the state some of the civilians are in, and offer basic aid like a stereotypical konoha shinobi would. The plan may fail or succeed because the first missing-nin will come out to confront the shinobi with high bounties." Shikamaru stated while in his thinking pose. Sakura only thought on it a bit before deciding.

"Plan B, if the other two missing-nin show up before the first, I'll hold them off and you retreat to the first missing-nin's hideout. Once there, work on restraining the disturbance. If they're not there, set up some traps to keep the disturbance busy and contained." Shikamaru watched in amusement as Sakura made a vague gesture, which could be mistaken for either giving a hand job, or punching someones lights out. He decided to keep that observation to himself.

"Here, just in case the missing-nin are above your level and you need back up." Shikamaru dug out a flare and handed it to Sakura. Sakura almost didn't want to accept the flare, but took it just in case the missing-nin were above her. She didn't want to acknowledge that there'd be someone more powerful than her in this backwater town. There was no time for pride during a mission.

For now, it was time to rest.

/

Sakura and Shikamaru leapt down onto the dirt path to enter the village like civilized people. Only missing-nin and ninja with no manners traveled by roof in an unfamiliar place. It was like reaching into your neighbor's, who you don't know all that well, fridge and eating all their food while staring them in the eye. Sakura grimaced and vowed if she were to ever become a missing-nin, to never roof run. She shook her head and smiled, like she would ever become a missing-nin.

"Hey, Shikamaru, you got any jerky on you?" Sakura was normally the prepared one but this time she left all of her rationed goods at home. She'd been mooching off of Shikamaru the whole mission. Man it was great to work with someone who worked with an Akimichi on a daily basis.

Shikamaru gave Sakura a look that said, 'what did you do to deserve the jerky?'.

She gave him puppy eyes.

Sakura was five jerky richer in less than two seconds.

"Don't to that shit, makes you more troublesome." Shikamaru analysed his surroundings out of the corner of his eyes, and ascertained that there was no one watching them to his knowledge. Before both of them took turns taking naps, they'd decided to play up the 'soft konoha shinobi', to make any watchers underestimate them. But since there was no one watching them, he'd just lost five jerky for no reason.

Shikamaru sighed and reached into his pack and pulled out the map right as they fully stepped out of the forest into the village.

"Sakura are you sure we're in the right village? This is Doro? This looks more like River country than Rain country." Shikamaru plastered a confused expression onto his face and shoved his face into the map. He pulled away when Sakura giggled.

"Don't be silly Shika-kun! Have I ever led you wrong?" Sakura giggled and span around, discreetly taking in the scared villager's faces.

"Yes, do you want me to list them? There was that time when we were on our way to land of waves and you somehow managed to take us all the way to suna, and then that other time when we were supposed to be in grass but you led us all the way back ho-" Shikamaru grimaced but played his part until Sakura slapped a hand over his mouth to shut him up. Shikamaru felt true fear when he saw Sakura's Signature Death Glare hidden behind her cutesy expression.

"Shika-kun~! You don't have to continue, you're making me embarrassed!" Sakura took her hand from Shikamaru's mouth and held her cheeks in embarrassment. Internally she was puking. God, she hated this persona. The persona she was donning was the initial judgement people made about a pink haired girl named Sakura.

Sakura dramatically dragged her hands down her face and openly looked around the village. She gasped dramatically, but it wasn't entirely fake. These people… they were being starved and beaten. Sakura didn't even glance at Shikamaru's reaction, and ran over to the nearest person. Her hands were already alight with a minty green glow.

"Ma'am… where did you get these injuries?" Sakura let her concern and worry ooze out, hoping to assure the woman that she would be nothing like the missing-nin that did this to them. Sakura had already healed up the third-degree burn on the woman's arm by the time she'd answered.

"It was… it was a man by, by the name of… Uzumaki Kusaru… please don't tell him I told you! He'd hurt, hurt my son! He's just a baby!" Sakura continued healing the woman, holding her when she became hysterical.

Shikamaru kept his distance and watched as the village cringed away from the two. He tilted his head and noticed how they only began to react in a noticeable way when the woman started crying and shouting. So the missing-nin most likely maintained a close distance to the village, often enough to notice when someone was loud. The people cringed away from loud sounds and retreated far enough away to be out of the danger zone.

The question is, would the missing-nin show up after the woman's fit. Especially since they haven't seen him in the village during their observation, but he apparently came often enough. He hoped they met the missing-nin on their own terms and not his.

Another thing to note, the name was not familiar at all. So either the missing-nin came from an obscure village or he was relatively weak. The third option being the one he didn't want to entertain, the missing-nin came from a village that hid him to use as their own secret weapon. But that didn't make sense. Why would you let your weapon go without any noticeable search for them? So Shikamaru discarded the third theory and work on figuring out which of the two it was-

"Hey, mister can you do the cool green glowy thingy like the lady over there? I have cut on my belly… please?" The little boy shyly asked and lifted up his shirt. Shikamaru has seen many grievous and down right disturbing injuries in his shinobi life, but this? This appealed to empathy. The boy had a long, barely scabbed cut stretching from his belly button to just below his collarbone.

"No, I can't but I have some bandages for you, until Sakura can get to you." Shikamaru dug through his Jounin vest for the roll of bandages. When he found it, he gestured the boy to step closer. Gently he started wrapping up the boy who couldn't be older than four. He patted the boy's shoulder when done.

The boy smiled at Shikamaru and ran off to find his mother.

Sakura and Shikamaru's heads both snapped up at the scent/signature of two very powerful people.

"Konoha shinobi? Did we do anything to gain their attention, Itachi?" Sakura froze when she finally spotted the familiar red spotted, black cloaks fluttering in the wind. She clenched her fist and reigned in her anger. She couldn't start a fight in the middle of a village full of civilians.

Shikamaru was scrambling for a plan. Earlier they'd agreed that Sakura would stay and fight off the threats that popped up while he would go and deal with their mission priority. But these were Akatsuki, the most dangerous missing-nin out there. Could Sakura handle them on her own while he went to neutralize their mission priority?

"Shikamaru! Remember what we discussed!" Sakura pulled on her gloves and drew her fist back and leapt forward. Shikamaru only felt shocked for a second, before he leapt off in the direction of the missing-nin's base. He knew he only would get a few seconds head start until either of the Akatsuki came after him.

Sakura launched herself towards Kisame first, knowing he would be the bigger threat to Shikamaru with his higher chakra and physical stamina (she ignored the fact that she was poorly matched against both of them, both of the Akatsuki were taijutsu and ninjutsu specialists). Itachi, from the reports she'd read about him, had a lesser chakra and physical stamina but was no less smart than Shikamaru or her. Shikamaru could fight him if he had more prep time, but he didn't so she had to hold the two Akatsuki off long enough to capture Uzumaki Kusaru.

Kisame leapt forward to impale Sakura on his sword. Sakura jerked out of the way and started to retreat to the river. Sakura's eyes snapped to Itachi when she realized that he wasn't fighting her, and immediately closed her eyes. He had his sharingan activated. A genjutsu crept over her senses.

"Kai!" Sakura leaned back out of Kisame's sword and kicked his wrist when the sword had passed over her fully. She momentarily opened her eyes to assess where she was in relation to the river. Not close enough. She snapped her eyes closed and threw her body backwards.

The stench of smoke and fire came roaring towards her. She instinctively ran through the signs for Water Release: Wild Water Wave. Steam brushed over her face and she dived backwards. The sword just barely brushed her and Sakura cringed at the feeling of scales running over her leg. She sniffed the air and threw needles towards the smokey blood scent.

Sakura only had a second of forewarning before a water release was upon her, but it wasn't enough. Sakura was thrown the rest of the way into the woods and past the river.

"Dammit!" Sakura sprung up from where she'd fallen to see Kisame gone and Itachi staring at her solemnly. She slammed her eyes closed and once more leapt at Itachi, dispelling genjutsu that snuck in through scent.

Sakura jabbed a needle into Itachi's arm while they traded blows. Sakura monitored his movements through touch. She noted when his hits became more sluggish. Sakura sensed her chance and knocked Itachi's legs from underneath him. When he hit the floor Sakura swept him into a sleeper hold and held on for dear life.

Sakura didn't let go of Itachi until he stopped struggling. She let go of him and rolled over to stare at the sky.

"Fuck. Holy fucking shit, I actually just knocked Uchiha Itachi unconscious. Sasuke's gonna be pissed that I beat up his brother first…" Sakura trailed off and imagined his face when they finally caught him and she told him. Speaking of missing-nin… Uzumaki Kusaru needed to be dealt with. Sakura rolled onto her hands and knees and stood up. She mentally went through her supplies and cataloged both her and Itachi's injuries. Neither of them would be dying anytime soon.

Sakura left Itachi's unconscious body on the river bank and want after Shikamaru and Kisame.

/

Shikamaru methodically ran through what they knew about both the Akatsuki and Uzumaki Kusaru. It wasn't a lot.

Shikamaru knew he had a better chance against the Uzumaki with unknown abilities than he would against the Akatsuki. He could go toe to toe with them if it was only intelligence, but in a fight of raw power he'd probably get bitch slapped all the way back to Konoha. He grimaced at the thought.

He knew he was lucky that he came on this mission with Sakura and no one else (besides Naruto or Tsunade, Naruto would probably use the power of friendship to make them decent human beings (see: Gaara), and Tsunade would be the one doing the bitch slapping). But as strong as Sakura was, she couldn't feasibly take on both of them at once. The only way for her to get out alive was to incapacitate one of them and fight the other. Sakura would find a way, she was the Godaime-

Shikamaru threw his body to the side just in time to miss Kisame's sword. He ran through the possibilities of escape and figured that his only chance would be to make a run for the Uzumaki's cave and stall long enough for Sakura to get there. He would need her raw power and brains to take on Kisame and live.

Shikamaru sped up and used his shadow jutsu to shove branches, rocks and traps in Kisame's way. None of it inconvenienced him, it only made him slow for a fraction of a second. But that was all he needed, because those added up. Shikamaru brought his shadow up to deflect the incoming kunai. He let some embed themselves in his shadow, then flung his shadow back twice as hard. The dislodged kunai raced back at Kisame. But none of them hit Kisame.

Took the few precious seconds the kunai gave him and ran with them. Kisame, not one to be bested by a tree-hugger, added a trickle more of chakra to his legs. Immediately he felt a boost in speed. On the edge of his senses he felt a chakra signature pop up, and then go silent. He knew the signature to be Sakura's, telling him she was alive and on her way to help.

Shikamaru realized they were nearly to the cave. He debated on whether to speed up or slow down. His eyes bulged out of his head when he felt Kisame's sword scrape a layer of skin (and clothing) off of his back.

Speeding up it is.

"Ya'know tree-hugger, this would end real fast if you just stopped running." Kisame teasingly swung his sword through the air, knowingly unsettling Shikamaru with his sadistic tone. Shikamaru couldn't stop the string of curses that floated through his head when one of Kisame's kunai struck his calf.

Out of the corner of his eye, Shikamaru saw a flash of pink and knew he was saved. He made one last desperate leap forward. Just in time to miss Sakura's ground-breaking punch.

"'Bout time Sakura!" Shikamaru shouted from his perch in the tree. Shikamaru debated on whether he should just pull the kunai out of his calf and slit his throat now. Sakura was not happy with him at all, if her death glare was anything to go by.

"Shut it Shikamaru! Fighting Uchiha Itachi is no piece of cake, I swear I lost a chunks of my hair fighting him!" Sakura threw he leg at Kisame and traded blows until Kisame decided to pull out his sword. Sakura narrowed her eyes at Kisame and distanced herself from him.

"Kunoichi, you're actually pretty good. Not what I'd expect from a Konoha-nin." Kisame smirked lazily. Shikamaru and Sakura both paled when he started on the signs for a water release. They were both surprised when instead of completing the release, he ran at Sakura with his sword out.

Frantically Shikamaru went through the signs for Shadow Sewing Technique. Shikamaru didn't let and semblance of relief show on his face, closely watching Kisame for any signs that the technique would not hold. Once he was sure that the technique would hold for the time being he looked to Sakura to see how she was doing.

Sakura took the time that Kisame was under Shikamaru's technique, to heal herself. Even while healing herself she didn't take her eyes off of Kisame, watching him like he was a tiger getting ready to pounce.

"Sakura could you knock him out or kill him? I'm running out of chakra." Shikamaru called down to Sakura. She didn't acknowledge him and took a few steps towards the captive missing-nin.

"You've been really quiet, Hoshigaki. Where's the real you?" Sakura stepped forward and grabbed Kisame's chin in her hand. Shikamaru's eye widened and he calculatingly went over his 'fight' with Kisame and realized that Sakura was right.

"So you've figured it out? As soon as Itachi had been knocked out, I went to go grab him and leave. I did the math and figured that you'd end up killing one of us, but with Nara over there, we'd both be dead." Kisame motioned with his eyes over to Shikamaru and watched the realization flash over both of their faces. During Sakura's fight with both of them they'd seen a lot of her abilities and could gauge whether they would be able to come out of this alive.

"It's your mistake you didn't kill Itachi. But good for us, bye Kunoichi! If we ever cross paths, I'd love to have a real fight." Kisame's body went limp and turned into water. Shikamaru cursed and let the shadows dissipate.

"Fuck. I should've just killed Itachi, and forgotten about Sasuke!" Sakura angrily stomped over to the nearest tree and knocked it, and all the others behind it, over with one punch. Shikamaru paled and carefully jumped down from his perch, mindful of his leg.

"Hey Sakura…" Shikamaru turned even whiter and trailed off when he saw her furious expression, but continued forward, "I have a kunai in my calf. Would you mind healing it for me…?" Sakura tempered her fury and healed his leg.

"You should've been more careful! And your back too! When we get back to Konoha, I'm gonna run you through the same training program that Tsunade-Shishou ran me through. God knows you need it! You can't dodge for shit." Sakura wasn't really angry at Shikamaru for getting injured, but she had to let off some steam or she might've knocked down another twenty trees. Tsunade-Shishou might actually kill her for destroying another Daimyo's land outside of a fight.

"Let's just… go, Sakura. The Akatsuki are gone, and we still have a mission to complete." Shikamaru stood up tiredly and tested his leg.

"Alright." Sakura wiped the sweat off of her brow and started forward, Shikamaru not long after her.

/

"How should we approach Uzumaki?" Sakura asked.

"Chameleon jutsu, with chakra suppressed. ANBU techniques. Watch your step, there's fuuinjutsu everywhere." Shikamaru looked around for the marker that he set down earlier. A tree with a Ryukyu Woodpecker's nest placed in it. They both carefully stepped over the fuuinjutsu concealed by the fallen leaves.

A soft whistle drew his attention to Sakura. She pointed up towards the tree he'd marked. He nodded and they both slowed their jog to a crawl.

Sakura sensed a large mass of chakra ahead, which said a lot because she was not a sensor type at all. She glanced over to Shikamaru and saw the same weirded out expression mirrored on his face. After some mental debate, she signed forward to Shikamaru.

Sakura once again stooped once they came to the edges of the clearing to see the massive fuuinjutsu-covered cave that was the Uzumaki's hideout.

"Welcome! Welcome, Konoha-nin! I wasn't really expecting you for another few days, but this is a welcome surprise!" A man with vibrant, flowing red hair stepped out from the cave's walls, "But it's not a surprise at all! My seals picked up your presence the moment you stepped foot over the river surrounding this town." Sakura mentally recoiled from the very obviously, mentally disturbed Uzumaki. Every shinobi and kunoichi in this line of work was disturbed in some way. A way to cope with their everyday lives and sprinkled in traumas. But this man was on another level.

"But regardless! This is a wonderful opportunity! I get to test my seals out with the unfortunate Konoha-nin. Poor you!" Uzumaki clapped his hands together under his chin and pouted at them. Sakura visibly recoiled and warily watched her opponent. Sakura used the hand by her thigh to form the sign for shadow.

"God! Do you ever shut up?" Sakura drew both of their attentions. Shikamaru scanned her head-to-toe for any signs of her trademark anger, but only found the sign for shadow that was conveniently shaped like a fist with the pinky pointing out. Uzumaki turned his wild eyes to her and creepily smiled at her.

"Oh? We have a brave one? Heh. Kinda cute actually…" Uzumaki rapidly drew closer and reached out too grab her face when he suddenly froze. Sakura took her chance, and knocked him out with a single punch to the temple. She watched with mild disappointment as his body flopped onto the floor. The shadow slowly retreated back to Shikamaru, prepared to take control again if he was just faking.

"How disappointing. Hey Shikamaru, you still have those chakra sealing cuffs on you?"

/

 _kusaru- go bad, decay, be depressed._

 _ok, so I had this whole alternate plot planned out when kisame wasn't a clone and uzumaki didn't get that close to sakura. he instead was smart and stayed a fair distance away (kisame is still with them), but also really stupid and told them his whole plan and backstory (grandson of an uzumaki kidnapped by kiri during the fall of uzu, so he gets a hate-boner for kiri, kumo, and konoha (b/c they didn't save his country). he left kiri and came to river and started making a seal to send him back in time so he can save uzu and destroy the triple K.)_

 _he activates the seal and they go back in time to before uzu's fall and kisasaku happens. the three (plus the body of uzumaki) eventually get back to their time and the last line and title of this would've been "we'll work something out"._

 _maybe one day i'll write it. also shikamaru's third theory was right._


End file.
